So excited and yet so tired!

Well, today was a day full of great things! :) For one we got our electric in, or at least our breaker box is hot now! Woohoo! Second, today was my first day as DAVA Treasurer. I had my first meeting today at Armstrong bank with our Commander and Sr. Vice. Once I got back home I saw that the guys had gotten the breaker box in the house all ready to go and then shortly after that, it was inspected and the guy then called OG&E out to light it up! It was so great! We are so happy about that! My dad keeps saying "well now you have a electric bill.", and we know that, but this is a bill that we are so happy we have now-as odd as that may sound, lol. It is just a great feeling seeing things all come together! Tomorrow Granddad and I will drop the rest of the wire throughout the house while Ryan is at school. Fun fun! :)

On a different note; This evening I was talking to our DAVA Commander. I was so tired by then that anything could have made me cry. And, well, I did start crying when we were on the phone. I was trying to tell her that Ryan might miss a few meetings because he feels he should be putting all his spear time on the house with Granddad while he is here with us and he also feels somewhat left out at the meetings. We really only have til Nov. to get the house done and she didn't take that right. She and her family are also fixing their home and she took it all the wrong way.. She took it as something else and thought that I wanted to resign after just becoming Treasurer. So once we got off the phone I started crying... I know, I am just so emotional right now with all the stress and things going on. I don't really know why everything hit a nerve, but I have never wanted to run and hide more in my life then today after starting talking to her. Odd, I know.. She is a great woman and her family is wonderful. I look up to her for advice. Ryan just needs a break from having to do so much and she didn't understand that or take it the way I meant.. It's not that he does things at the meetings, because he is not active in them yet, but it's the fact of coming out when his mind is here on the house, fixing it up and putting new things in. Oh well, it is past us now! I just hope her and her husband don't take it wrong forever. She is always telling me I stress to much and I'm sure if she read this, she would tell me again! ;)
She is right, I do. But, I am getting better about that! :)

We are about to go to bed, or rather, I am in bed on the computer while Ryan is asleep beside me, hehe. So good night all!!

Through the days..

Ryan and I have been running all over today getting things done. Although at times remodeling our home is very trying on us and our relationship-we push through it. I don't know any marriage that would not be tried when remodeling a home. It is a stressful time but yet a enjoyable and very strong bonding time. Ryan and I have not only been busy with the house, we have also both been trying to stay steady in our schooling as well as keep active in our DAV that we are involved in. It looks as though I will be taking a position in the DAVA that I am a member of.. That in its self is a stressful thought, but I am looking forward to helping out and becoming more involved. I am also thinking of writing children's books. I have been writing for a long time and very much so enjoy writing for children. We will see how that goes. Today I noticed that I don't hurt as much when I see a baby in their mothers arms. I noticed that even though Ryan and I would love to have a child of our own, that we are happy with out a baby. We do not need, it is only a want. A want to be a mother and a father. We are strong as a couple, strong as a unit, and strong within our family as it is now. At one time we wanted and felt we needed a baby to be whole, but that is not the case. Though the desire will always be there, we see that God will bless us one day, and not one day sooner then he sees fit.
Every once in awhile I will here a baby crying in my dreams, and always soon after I am either pregnant, or someone I know is. I knew my Sister-in-law was pregnant before she even did, I know when I am pregnant and I know when I am losing the baby as well.
Though I have been through 3 miscarriages and 2 false pregnancies, I am no longer bitter about them, I know God knows best always. I know he has a reason for everything and that he takes care of his children.
I don't know why I feel such a strong desire to write and help children, but I do.
Ryan has had a hard time with everything as well, and this last time when I was in the hospital with my miscarriage, I believe it was the hardest for him as well as me. We had such high hopes for the AI to work-and it did. After our testing positive and telling my family, no more then a week after we had told the family the wonderful news, like before the joy didn't last. That was a very hard time.. We have since then learned how to give it over to God and to trust that he knows best. So in my hopes to write children's books, I hope to help bring a smile to all of those mothers out there reading books to their little kiddo's and that the little kiddo's will enjoy my books as much as I have enjoyed writing them. =) Wish me luck in the book writing! And please pray for Ryan and I as we go through this remodel of our home! =)

9/11

It is 8 years today that 9/11/01 happened and we lost so many that we loved. Let us not forget them, ever! Let us remember our Military over seas fighting for our Freedom-Freedom is not free. Weather we stand behind the reason for them being over there or not, Let us always stand behind our Military. They give their live daily for us, the least we can do is support them and have welcoming arms when they return home.
God Bless the U.S.A.!!!

*I love you CPL Ryan Broderick, You are my Hero, now and always!*

Summer has come to an end..

Summer has come to an end and it is starting to cool off. We are having lots and lots of rain! Ryan and I are working on fixing up our home. We are remodeling everything about the house pretty much. Life has thrown us a few hard knocks, but God is good and he is helping us get through it all!
Between putting a lot of money out on our house, we are also trying to work it where we can come to UT. on Ryan's Thanksgiving break. Plain tickets are not cheap, Boo! I wish they were! We are also trying to see about going to AL. for part of Christmas this year so that we can see the Kids again. With how crazy life has been, between all of the VA stuff getting messed up, Ryan's college, My college, The house, Family getting sick, Losing loved ones.... Our little world has been thrown up and mixed all around a few times lately. But we are still standing strong and getting through life-one step and prayer at a time. Next month is my birthday (Oct.1st) and then we have our Anniversary is Nov. 21st. Ryan's Thanksgiving brake starts right before our Anny. so we are happy about that. I have CD's I am making right now for everyone, of the Kids stay with us this summer. I have everything done and ready about them except for getting music on them... I am having a hard time with that! It is very upsetting!
Mother and I have finely gotten our Jewelry Business on the web! (sorta) We are working on it still but it is coming along. We don't have even half of our jewelry on the site yet, but we are getting there. www.Native2StepDesigns.com, if you want to take a peek-see.
Well, I need to get going. I have school to do and things around here :)
Take care!

P.S. I have some pics to send out to you guys, Not the CD-just yet that is. But Ryan and I had our pics taken last month and we just got them back. I have them all ready to send out, but I need addresses! We seem to of misplaces them all during the move... I'm sure they are packed! lol

Summer fun!

So, it has been wonderful having the kids here! Joseph is so tall, Rachel is still Rachel :), and Micah is as sweet as always. Their all growing up so fast! They have been here since the 10th and so far we have been at my Aunts house with their 3 kids, all about the same ages as Joseph, Rach, and Micah. We have been to Oklahoma seeing my Mom and Dad, we have been to the water park, and to Arkansas seeing my Grandparents on their farm. We have been Kayaking and fishing, also. We have stayed busy and I really don't know where the time has gone! Tomorrow we are going to the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory, the Zoo and the Aquarium. We have lots of pics and all in all have had a wonderful time. We will be taking the kids back on the 27th, so our time is drawing to its end...
But we have had a great time! I'll be posting pics soon :)

A busy day

Today I am rushing around trying to get everything cleaned up and the house ready for Joseph, Rachel, and Micah to get here. It has been crazy lately. Between being sick and healing so slowly, to all the loss that we have had to experience in the past few weeks.
I am working for a marketing company now, my first day is the 13th. I have to go and buy a new pair of black slacks as well as send in the rest of my paper work. I also, am thinking that at some point I am going to have to make time to go back to the Dr. because my medicine is making me become even more sick then I was. I now think I am getting thrush in my mouth, this medication is by far the worst I have ever been on. Not only am I healing slowly, I am getting sick from it. But, I do understand that my infection is awful, so I needed an extremely high medication.
So, some how I have to find out how to clean the house, get it ready, see the Dr., buy clothes for work on Sat. and send off my paper work... I so don't see me getting this all done in a DAY! One day... Only one day, because I am suppose to meet Ryan and the Kids in AR. tomorrow...
Oh my, I just never have time to be sick!

After I am done with my medication I will be going back into the Dr. to be looked over once more. They will be checking at that time if my tubes are working or if I have to have everything taken out... We are praying that God heals me and I don't have to have that done.

Ryan and I have tried to get pregnant for a while now. But, we have come to realize that God might not want us to have children that way. He just might want us to give a child a home that didn't have one before. To show them the love that they should be shown.

Ryan and I are not trying anymore, at least for a while. With all that my body has gone through and everything life has thrown at us with the loss of two babies, and losing two pets in such a short time, we need to breath... We need a break, without so much heartache..

But God does know best, and we have handed it all over to him.

Please Pray for Ryan and the kids as they make there way here tomorrow!! And Pray that I get everything ready :)

*We will post about Ryan and the Kids trip to FL. once they get here with there pics. :)*

Illyanna's 1st Birthday

Anna had her first birthday on the 5th and I was there to enjoy all the wonderful mess of the cake as well as the two birthday parties she ended up having :) Ryan is still in FL. with Stephen and Justin as well as the kids. He will be home on Thursday. So Ryan missed out on this memorable moment but I'm sure he will make up for is once he is home. Anna loves him!! As does he love her as well. :) If you notice in the pics. she have something on her head, those are her sunglasses that Uncle Ryan and Aunt Tia got her. She will hardly take them off now, hehe. I'm glad she loved them so much!

It's so hard to believe that we have already celebrated her 1st b-day! Time sure have flown by.
She is such a blessing, such a joy. It would have been so much harder to get through all the hardships that Ryan and I have gone through in the last few weeks without that smiling face of her's and those beautiful baby blue eyes :)

She is a big Granddaddy's girl :)




I am very proud to be this little girls Aunt. :) She is such a wonderful little girl!! :)
She got a lot of cute clothes and toys for her birthday and enjoyed her time, very much so :)
I am so glad that I was able to be there for it!