So excited and yet so tired!

Well, today was a day full of great things! :) For one we got our electric in, or at least our breaker box is hot now! Woohoo! Second, today was my first day as DAVA Treasurer. I had my first meeting today at Armstrong bank with our Commander and Sr. Vice. Once I got back home I saw that the guys had gotten the breaker box in the house all ready to go and then shortly after that, it was inspected and the guy then called OG&E out to light it up! It was so great! We are so happy about that! My dad keeps saying "well now you have a electric bill.", and we know that, but this is a bill that we are so happy we have now-as odd as that may sound, lol. It is just a great feeling seeing things all come together! Tomorrow Granddad and I will drop the rest of the wire throughout the house while Ryan is at school. Fun fun! :)

On a different note; This evening I was talking to our DAVA Commander. I was so tired by then that anything could have made me cry. And, well, I did start crying when we were on the phone. I was trying to tell her that Ryan might miss a few meetings because he feels he should be putting all his spear time on the house with Granddad while he is here with us and he also feels somewhat left out at the meetings. We really only have til Nov. to get the house done and she didn't take that right. She and her family are also fixing their home and she took it all the wrong way.. She took it as something else and thought that I wanted to resign after just becoming Treasurer. So once we got off the phone I started crying... I know, I am just so emotional right now with all the stress and things going on. I don't really know why everything hit a nerve, but I have never wanted to run and hide more in my life then today after starting talking to her. Odd, I know.. She is a great woman and her family is wonderful. I look up to her for advice. Ryan just needs a break from having to do so much and she didn't understand that or take it the way I meant.. It's not that he does things at the meetings, because he is not active in them yet, but it's the fact of coming out when his mind is here on the house, fixing it up and putting new things in. Oh well, it is past us now! I just hope her and her husband don't take it wrong forever. She is always telling me I stress to much and I'm sure if she read this, she would tell me again! ;)
She is right, I do. But, I am getting better about that! :)

We are about to go to bed, or rather, I am in bed on the computer while Ryan is asleep beside me, hehe. So good night all!!

Through the days..

Ryan and I have been running all over today getting things done. Although at times remodeling our home is very trying on us and our relationship-we push through it. I don't know any marriage that would not be tried when remodeling a home. It is a stressful time but yet a enjoyable and very strong bonding time. Ryan and I have not only been busy with the house, we have also both been trying to stay steady in our schooling as well as keep active in our DAV that we are involved in. It looks as though I will be taking a position in the DAVA that I am a member of.. That in its self is a stressful thought, but I am looking forward to helping out and becoming more involved. I am also thinking of writing children's books. I have been writing for a long time and very much so enjoy writing for children. We will see how that goes. Today I noticed that I don't hurt as much when I see a baby in their mothers arms. I noticed that even though Ryan and I would love to have a child of our own, that we are happy with out a baby. We do not need, it is only a want. A want to be a mother and a father. We are strong as a couple, strong as a unit, and strong within our family as it is now. At one time we wanted and felt we needed a baby to be whole, but that is not the case. Though the desire will always be there, we see that God will bless us one day, and not one day sooner then he sees fit.
Every once in awhile I will here a baby crying in my dreams, and always soon after I am either pregnant, or someone I know is. I knew my Sister-in-law was pregnant before she even did, I know when I am pregnant and I know when I am losing the baby as well.
Though I have been through 3 miscarriages and 2 false pregnancies, I am no longer bitter about them, I know God knows best always. I know he has a reason for everything and that he takes care of his children.
I don't know why I feel such a strong desire to write and help children, but I do.
Ryan has had a hard time with everything as well, and this last time when I was in the hospital with my miscarriage, I believe it was the hardest for him as well as me. We had such high hopes for the AI to work-and it did. After our testing positive and telling my family, no more then a week after we had told the family the wonderful news, like before the joy didn't last. That was a very hard time.. We have since then learned how to give it over to God and to trust that he knows best. So in my hopes to write children's books, I hope to help bring a smile to all of those mothers out there reading books to their little kiddo's and that the little kiddo's will enjoy my books as much as I have enjoyed writing them. =) Wish me luck in the book writing! And please pray for Ryan and I as we go through this remodel of our home! =)

9/11

It is 8 years today that 9/11/01 happened and we lost so many that we loved. Let us not forget them, ever! Let us remember our Military over seas fighting for our Freedom-Freedom is not free. Weather we stand behind the reason for them being over there or not, Let us always stand behind our Military. They give their live daily for us, the least we can do is support them and have welcoming arms when they return home.
God Bless the U.S.A.!!!

*I love you CPL Ryan Broderick, You are my Hero, now and always!*

Summer has come to an end..

Summer has come to an end and it is starting to cool off. We are having lots and lots of rain! Ryan and I are working on fixing up our home. We are remodeling everything about the house pretty much. Life has thrown us a few hard knocks, but God is good and he is helping us get through it all!
Between putting a lot of money out on our house, we are also trying to work it where we can come to UT. on Ryan's Thanksgiving break. Plain tickets are not cheap, Boo! I wish they were! We are also trying to see about going to AL. for part of Christmas this year so that we can see the Kids again. With how crazy life has been, between all of the VA stuff getting messed up, Ryan's college, My college, The house, Family getting sick, Losing loved ones.... Our little world has been thrown up and mixed all around a few times lately. But we are still standing strong and getting through life-one step and prayer at a time. Next month is my birthday (Oct.1st) and then we have our Anniversary is Nov. 21st. Ryan's Thanksgiving brake starts right before our Anny. so we are happy about that. I have CD's I am making right now for everyone, of the Kids stay with us this summer. I have everything done and ready about them except for getting music on them... I am having a hard time with that! It is very upsetting!
Mother and I have finely gotten our Jewelry Business on the web! (sorta) We are working on it still but it is coming along. We don't have even half of our jewelry on the site yet, but we are getting there. www.Native2StepDesigns.com, if you want to take a peek-see.
Well, I need to get going. I have school to do and things around here :)
Take care!

P.S. I have some pics to send out to you guys, Not the CD-just yet that is. But Ryan and I had our pics taken last month and we just got them back. I have them all ready to send out, but I need addresses! We seem to of misplaces them all during the move... I'm sure they are packed! lol

Summer fun!

So, it has been wonderful having the kids here! Joseph is so tall, Rachel is still Rachel :), and Micah is as sweet as always. Their all growing up so fast! They have been here since the 10th and so far we have been at my Aunts house with their 3 kids, all about the same ages as Joseph, Rach, and Micah. We have been to Oklahoma seeing my Mom and Dad, we have been to the water park, and to Arkansas seeing my Grandparents on their farm. We have been Kayaking and fishing, also. We have stayed busy and I really don't know where the time has gone! Tomorrow we are going to the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory, the Zoo and the Aquarium. We have lots of pics and all in all have had a wonderful time. We will be taking the kids back on the 27th, so our time is drawing to its end...
But we have had a great time! I'll be posting pics soon :)

A busy day

Today I am rushing around trying to get everything cleaned up and the house ready for Joseph, Rachel, and Micah to get here. It has been crazy lately. Between being sick and healing so slowly, to all the loss that we have had to experience in the past few weeks.
I am working for a marketing company now, my first day is the 13th. I have to go and buy a new pair of black slacks as well as send in the rest of my paper work. I also, am thinking that at some point I am going to have to make time to go back to the Dr. because my medicine is making me become even more sick then I was. I now think I am getting thrush in my mouth, this medication is by far the worst I have ever been on. Not only am I healing slowly, I am getting sick from it. But, I do understand that my infection is awful, so I needed an extremely high medication.
So, some how I have to find out how to clean the house, get it ready, see the Dr., buy clothes for work on Sat. and send off my paper work... I so don't see me getting this all done in a DAY! One day... Only one day, because I am suppose to meet Ryan and the Kids in AR. tomorrow...
Oh my, I just never have time to be sick!

After I am done with my medication I will be going back into the Dr. to be looked over once more. They will be checking at that time if my tubes are working or if I have to have everything taken out... We are praying that God heals me and I don't have to have that done.

Ryan and I have tried to get pregnant for a while now. But, we have come to realize that God might not want us to have children that way. He just might want us to give a child a home that didn't have one before. To show them the love that they should be shown.

Ryan and I are not trying anymore, at least for a while. With all that my body has gone through and everything life has thrown at us with the loss of two babies, and losing two pets in such a short time, we need to breath... We need a break, without so much heartache..

But God does know best, and we have handed it all over to him.

Please Pray for Ryan and the kids as they make there way here tomorrow!! And Pray that I get everything ready :)

*We will post about Ryan and the Kids trip to FL. once they get here with there pics. :)*

Illyanna's 1st Birthday

Anna had her first birthday on the 5th and I was there to enjoy all the wonderful mess of the cake as well as the two birthday parties she ended up having :) Ryan is still in FL. with Stephen and Justin as well as the kids. He will be home on Thursday. So Ryan missed out on this memorable moment but I'm sure he will make up for is once he is home. Anna loves him!! As does he love her as well. :) If you notice in the pics. she have something on her head, those are her sunglasses that Uncle Ryan and Aunt Tia got her. She will hardly take them off now, hehe. I'm glad she loved them so much!

It's so hard to believe that we have already celebrated her 1st b-day! Time sure have flown by.
She is such a blessing, such a joy. It would have been so much harder to get through all the hardships that Ryan and I have gone through in the last few weeks without that smiling face of her's and those beautiful baby blue eyes :)

She is a big Granddaddy's girl :)




I am very proud to be this little girls Aunt. :) She is such a wonderful little girl!! :)
She got a lot of cute clothes and toys for her birthday and enjoyed her time, very much so :)
I am so glad that I was able to be there for it!

A very hard day...

Today is a very hard day.. We have had to put our beloved Cat, Mr. Sparkles down. We took him to the vet today because he was great and then all of the sudden he started going down hill. We found out that either his liver was being attacked or that his red blood cells were... We had to choices to choose between, either hook him up on I.V. and do a bunch of test or let him rest in peace and not hurt any more. We talked over the pros and cons of both and decided that it would be best for him if we would let him go. The vet told us that she would be more the willing to hook him up and run all the test, but that she felt it would do nothing more then keep him alive. But, he would never really get better... He simply went to sleep in my arms as I brushed him and he was given the shot. He was ready to go, he was ready to be out of pain and in heaven waiting on us.

Today I also found out that my baby Isabella passed away this last weekend when I was in the hospital. I was not told until now because I was so sick and everyone knew that I would want to give up and my body would not have been healing. Today, I have lost my 8yr old child. I never knew that I could feel this much pain and sickness. I did not think it possible for one to live through. I had her since she could fit in my hand, I was always talking about her and when she was not with me I would call and check on her and even talk to her over the phone.. Silly as it may seem, she was my baby, my child. We are not sure what happened to her, we just know that she was outside and then all of the sudden she was no longer alive..

Please pray that Ryan and I both can get past this pain and loss.

In loving Memory Of Mr. Spark & Izzy

Moving & Life up until now

As we have embarked on a new journey and embrace a new chapter of our life-we are having to say goodbye to a place that holds so many dear memories to us. Our first home together, the place that has held all or most of our "first" together. Some things you can never get back once you have lived them once already, all of you're "first". Life has been stressful from day one of packing. The move it's self went well. Mom and Dad came to help us and we had the U-Haul packed in one afternoon, or rather in a few hours after picking it up. We worked our hind ends off to make this all happen. It was all worth it, though. We had a lot of goodbye's and see-you-soon's that had to be said, and although they where sad themselves, they also had there own happy moments along with them.


The Kids, aka animals, were not so sure what to think about everything.
So, Ben tried to sleep most of the days while packing.
Piper, however, was all about watching and getting into trouble. She just knew I needed one more thing to clean up and thought it was so much fun to tear all her toys up. But, you gotta love the babies :) Lilly was to busy all day messing with the frogs to think much of anything about the moving boxes all around.
While Mr. Spark was so worried about us making him move from where he was sleeping all the time.



By the end of the day Mr. Spark and I plus the rest of the family were beat. Between having mixed feeling about moving and being sad about that plus being happy about finely being packed-the day was full of emotions that just simply can not be put in words.







We left Colorado Springs, CO. on 8 May 2009 at 0500.
Dad lead in the truck with Ryan following and Mom and I in close pursuit behind him. It was was an emotional trip but a good one as well. We all kept each other going and made it a fun experience as well.




Once we made it to Oklahoma everyone knew we were on the home stretch and even though we were all getting tired it seemed to give us a second wind that we had been needing. :)



We made it to our new home around 8pm that evening. We got a bit behind but still made it in time to go to bed at a good time. It was wonderful being out of the car and having a bed to sleep on! Some how the floor gets harder as we get older, I'm sure of it ;) It can't be age saying "Hi" it's got to be the floor getting harder. :)



We stayed in OK. getting things around a bit and then headed into AR. to see all the family there. Ryan and Anna had some play time out at the school while we watched Miss Emmy's track and field day. Seeing the family in AR. again was wonderful and much needed. For some reason it is a great stress reliever for Ryan and I both when we are there, maybe it is that life is just simple back there and is down to earth, I don't know. But I do know we love it.






I am a super proud Aunt :) and we just found out the my brother and his wife are expecting another little bundle!! I can't wait to be an Aunt again. But this girl, with those baby blues, will always be my little angel :) I love her bunches!!! She is a sweetheart!





Ryan and I have had a lot of emotional news since moving back home. I found out that I was Pregnant but no sooner did I find out that I was I found out that I was miscarrying the baby as well. I would not have, but I got an infection earlier in May and didn't know about it until it was to late to stop the miscarriage. My white blood cell count was 28,000 and I was in the ER. When in the ER they were thinking about keeping me because I was so sick that if I had not of made it to the ER the day I did, I would have went in a coma by the following day...
But, God is good and has taken care of me. He saw it that I made it in and that I was taken care of. Now, we are having to work on getting me better and that is not going as well. I am healing very slowly and the infection is taking it's own sweet time going away. I might have to have my right tube and ovary taken out depending on how well I heal. If that happens then it is God's will that it does. We are just so thankful that God is taking care of us and helping us get through this hard time.

Ryan is doing great back home. He is enjoying working outside with Mom and on the farm.
He is becoming himself again! The fun loving, not so stressed guy! He will be going down and picking his siblings up here soon to spend a few weeks with us for the summer! We can't wait to have them here! It will be great. :) Ryan, is working on getting in college right now for Computer Networking. He wants to start this coming fall, so that is wonderful.
I have applied for a job at the Library and had my interview today. It went well, but it still might be a few weeks before I hear back about it. Ryan and I are talking about building a house now. We have found out that we can build and buy property for around $70,000. We also could move into out new home within around a month.
So that is something we are talking about.

Well, it is midnight here and I am super tired from being sick and everything.
I will keep everyone posted and up to date more on this, I promise :)


*Sorry for any mistypes, it's been a LONG day*

A new month..

This year is already flying by!! I can hardly believe it is always March! We have been very busy lately! Ryan has been working a lot and I have been just covered in school work. We are both feeling a bit overwhelmed. But we are working through all of this together! :) Ryan had an appt. yesterday for his hand. They are talking about maybe wanting to do surgery on it. For 6mos. or better he has been having pain in his left hand. His tendon in his left ring finger no longer stays where it should and cause pain. Also we have found out the He now has arthritis in his neck from an injury.. That is causing him a lot of pain. He sees the Doctor about that on Wed. Hopefully we with find something to help him. My HSG went okay. They some how turned a 30min procedure into a 2hr one... It took 4 Dr's to even get it done. And mind you, I was NOT givin any pain meds. But as painful as it was and as much as I hope I never have to do it again, I can say that my tubes are working again! That is such a releafe! We still do not know when we will be out of the Army just yet but hope to find out soon :)
Well there's an update!

day to day

So today was a busy day. Most days are for us, haha.
We had to run some places so I brought my books along to study. I knew I would have to wait in the car for some of the things Ryan was having to take care of with work and I was a bit behind from being sick. I have done 40+ test in just the last 3 days, counting today.
We have to go back in for our Taxes because of my SSN sooo... we had to take care of that today and go back tomorrow. We also meet with the VA tomorrow for Ryan's disability. We have not yet heard back from the Army side to hear what their rating is for Ryan. We should start hearing things soon, however, the Army does have a mind of its own.
Well, I need to get Ryan going, we need to run to the store.

Bye for now all!!

Up set...

Sometimes I just don't understand people....

Read this post and you'll understand...
http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=399329303720012196

That is my Daddy their talking about... He is good at what he does and he cares about the families. But he has to do what HIS boss tells him to do!

Daddy is in Denver right now so Ryan and I are going to try and go see him... Ryan's having a mood today so its hard for him to want to get out... Just wants to play his game.

But please Pray for my daddy and Ryan and I.

Life from day to day.

Well, today Ryan sold the fish tank.. I'm okay with it. Not what I really wanted to do but, it went to some nice people.

Today we got an email about a House in UT for rent.. They are looking for some good renters. We're still not sure where we will be going. With family all over its very hard. We love everyone so much..

I'm so sick... I think Jim and the kids gave me there cold..lol.. Ryan was a sweetie though :) He brought me some sore throat drops home this morning! :) He is on a 24hr shift right now though, not so happy about that! Boo!! But oh well, I have lots of school work i can do to keep busy :)

Okay, well I'm going to go for now :) Hope everyone had a wonderful day!

A busy mess..

Well today has pretty much been a busy mess. Ryan has been in and out of the house all day and I have been working my behind off around the house and with school.
Both the dogs had a bath, I did laundry, Mopped all the floors and Vacuumed. If you have met Bentley *Our Great Dane* then you can only imagine giving him a bath in our tub..lol.. I started by talking him into the tub...didn't work..Then I tryed pulling/lifting him..sooo did not work..Finely I got IN the tub and talked/pulled/lifted him in..lol.. And goodness now I'm TIRED! Piper was nothing, she's little and hops right in :) But oh no Ben had to be difficult. He was great once he was in the tub though :). Now I'm just waiting for Ryan to get home so that we can go shopping, we need food, hehe. And I desperately need cough drops and sugar for my tea. I hate being sick, blah! But, I'm hoping I'm over this soon so I can get back to running full speed :)
Oh we have great news today, about Ryan's meds. *Family message/IM if you would like to know more.*
Ok, well I have just pulled the rollers out of my hair and need to fix it :)

Bye for now!

Hello All,

So we're trying out this whole blog thing so that family can be kept up to date :).
But I will, however, not be putting EVERYTHING on here. So at some points I'm sure I'll say "Family you need to message if you want to know more."

So here we go. :)
We just got back from Utah this last Monday. We had a wonderful time seeing everyone there! We didn't want to leave that's for sure.

We are already back to the grind of the "real world", back to work and school.

We did our Taxes yesterday and Ryan has 3 appts. today alone... Wow..
I'm just doing my school work and house work. Not working "out side of the home" this week that I know of..

Things seem to be moving faster around here yet again so we are having to pick up our pace again. We are still looking for houses in both AR, OK, and UT. Having a little luck, but nothing is popping out just yet lol.

Ryan is home for lunch right now, so i am taking a break while he is here. But he is about to head back to work so I will leave you will this for now :)